What Nana Knows

You Should Pray About This

2010-04-05T11:25:00.001-07:00

I had this experience when I was a young wife and mother.

I hope my youth at the time can be counted as

some measure of excuse for my folly.

But looking back, I still treasure the

lesson I learned “the hard way” and at such expense.

We had one baby and a new house.

It had the ugliest flocked fleur-de-lis wallpaper of all time, and

deep orange shag carpet to go with its avocado green appliances,

but it was ours and we loved it.

I would strip the wallpaper myself (quelle horreur!)

and slowly make the changes that brought the house more into line

with my up-to-date 80’s aesthetic.

Hours and Hours

(Cute legs, eh?)

It was a happy day when we had finally saved enough money

to think about replacing that orange shag carpet.

I’m not sure how I heard about the Saver’s Warehouse.

Maybe a radio ad. But it seemed like just what we needed:

a membership club, whose fee would allow you to buy

carpet, furniture, appliances, etc.,

for dealer’s cost plus 10%.

If we bought our carpet from them

we would save more than double the 600$ cost of the membership.

I went to their warehouse on a Tuesday.

The salesman showed me all the carpet sample books and before long

I was drooling over catalogues of new appliances as well.

This seemed like such a good deal.

Couldn't wait to get rid of this!

I left with a fist full of brochures and a contract to fill out.

It was on the drive home that I heard the Little Voice in my head.

“You should pray about this.”

I talked back to the voice.

“It’s obviously a good deal and just what we need right now. It adds up.

Some things are just plain good sense. You don’t need to pray about everything!”

My logic didn’t seem to sway the Little Voice.

“You really should pray about this.”

The fact that I was drooling should have been a clue. It’s called lust.

I think I also must have resented the implicit questioning

of my good judgment.

I had never made a “business decision” like this one before.

In fact, I had never spent 600$ dollars before.

And I knew what I was doing, thank you.

So I joined. I talked my sweet husband into it,

assuring him that we would

more than make up the money in the very next week.

I turned in my check on Wednesday.

On Friday I called up the salesman to ask a question.

The phone rang and rang.

Finally on Saturday, I drove over to see why no one was picking up the phone. The parking lot was empty. There was a sign on the door. It was a letter from a lawyer’s office with an address for people to send their claims to. The place was in bankruptcy. I stood there in shock.

Finally I wrote down the address of the lawyer’s office and went home. Somehow I knew that I wouldn’t be getting my 600$ back. I was at the very back of the line, wasn’t I?

600$ was a fortune to us then.

How I dreaded telling my poor husband what his brilliant wife had done!

The truth of Nephi’s words in 2 Nephi 32 resonated in my mind.

“Ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father… that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.” (32:9)

Why wouldn't the Lord want to bless my efforts to beautify my home? I was seeking to magnify my calling as a homemaker and that was a worthy goal. I remembered the words of a religion professor:

“If it matters to you, it matters to Him.”

I could have asked for protection and guidance over my efforts to decorate my home. That is precisely what I had needed.

It was just my silly pride that had prevented me. I was like a little two year old who wanted to do it “mine own self!”

The Inner Me

And the worst part was that I had to face The Voice.

I had to get on my knees and confess my stubbornness and foolishness.

But lo and behold, the Lord’s promises work there too. For when we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins.” (John 1:9)

As I prayed I felt God’s love and comfort even as I felt his correction,

for He chasteneth whom He loveth.

I felt Him say, “See. I am trying to help you. Trust Me. You’ll do better next time.”

And I'm working on it.

The Road of Life Goes Up and Down

2009-10-16T15:13:00.000-07:00

I kneel next to my bed in earnest prayer and there stretched out before me at the end of my arm, is a small scale diagram in flesh of my own journey through life, tracked out in the ridges of my own hand. “Oh Lord, here I am again,” that little graphic reminds me. “Down here in the ditch!”

Leave it to C.S. Lewis to give a name to our mortal propensity for a life of ups and downs. He called it the Law of Undulations (quaint phrase!) in his Screwtape Letters. And he properly explained why it is so important to understand this pattern of life.

If you don’t understand it, Satan has a subtle advantage. For when we are in the valleys of life, he can whisper in our minds, “Oh bummer. Rough stuff, you poor thing. You realize don’t you, that your life will be like this forever. It sucks now and always will. Stretching on out there in eternal bleakness. This dark mood will never change. The rain will never stop. This challenge will never get better. You will never be happy again.”

Our enemy operates not unlike the Dementors in Harry Potter, who glide about, tormenting their prisoners by causing them to relive their worst memories, and making them feel like they’d “never be cheerful again.”

When I hear of people taking their own lives, I know Satan laughs, and wonder if his whisperings were believed. But the message is a lie, as messages from the father of lies always are. For the sun comes out again. And you will not always feel the way you feel today.

Interestingly enough, he tells the same lie to those who are up on one of life’s mountaintops.

When life is at a high point for you, when you are feeling blessed and close to God, Satan is sure to try and get in this same whisper.
“Oh, congratulations. You just got baptized! (Or found true love, or had a spiritual experience, or a communications breakthrough. Whatever.) Well it’s nice to know that life will be good now. You certainly deserve it. What a great future you have to look forward to. It will be smooth sailing from now on!”

Of course you don’t fall for this, do you? You see the trap. As soon as life settles back down and the next serious bump in the road comes up, there’s the little imp, all ready with his line: “Oh darn. You’ve really blown it. It was too good to be true." Or, "You’re not really cut out to be a Mormon after all. (Or “love never lasts” or “you aren’t really the spiritual type,” or “Nothing good lasts in my family.”) Now you've got the proof. Don’t let yourself get fooled again. Might as well give up now and not set yourself up again.”

You see what he does. When we’re up he tries to convince us that we should always feel this good so that we will be devastated when life’s road curves inexorably down off the mountain top and back into the next valley. And when we’re down in some serious valley, he tries to discourage us by convincing us that life will remain unremittingly bleak from here to forever. Both are useful lies in his arsenal.

The antidote is truth. In truth, the road of life goes up and down. Some times the hills and valleys are gentle; sometimes it feels more like peaks and ravines. All life is cyclical. Energy, light, heat, all of it travels in waves. The earth cycles through spring, summer, fall, winter and then goes back to spring, summer, fall, winter. After the rain, the sun comes out. After stretches of sunny weather, storms will inevitably come again.

I can’t remember why I was in my room crying my eyes out one day when I was in my twenties, but I remember my dad poking his head in sympathetically and saying wisely, “It’s just weather of the soul, honey.” He knew.

The Orphan Girl

2008-12-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

"The Orphan Girl in the Graveyard" by Eugene Delacroix

My son Ben is a missionary in the Southwest. Mostly he teaches Hispanic people. He loves them and he loves serving the Lord. Early in his service he was assigned to a rather desolate town called Chaparral, New Mexico. It's a grey hard-panned dusty place where the missionaries are happy when a dust storm blows because it means the people will take pity on them and let them in the door of the trailer (everybody lives in a trailer). As Ben says, they knew the name of every living plant in the city.

Ben has been gone from Chaparral for almost 8 months, having done a stint in Tucson. Now he is back in El Paso and has opportunity to visit his old areas. We had written him and asked what he wanted for Christmas. He wrote:

"This year, I am asking all of my friends for a very special Christmas present.

As you may know, I am a missionary for the LDS church serving in El Paso, Texas. About a year ago I had the opportunity to teach a family and help them come unto Christ. Just recently I went back and visited this single mother and her daughter and found them in despair and distanced from the teachings of Jesus Christ. The daughter had even recently attempted to commit suicide.

I noted that they had no friends to help them stay firm in the church or give them comfort.

Upon returning home from seeing this I wrote this poem.

What I want for Christmas is for you to read this poem and reflect upon how you might better help the down-trodden and those in despair and then put that into action. Then write me a letter and let me know how it went. Thank you so much and may God bless you in your efforts to serve others in this Christmas season. Sincerely, Elder Ben Wilson."

Here is Elder Wilson's Poem entitled
"On Zion's Walls"

The air is brisk, the stars are out
And lights are glowing dim.
I watch atop the city walls
And see the peace within.
The town is safe from fear and harm
And all can act as though
There was no raging war without,
Inside—no fear of foe.

I feel content, my heart at peace,
To think what I have done.
For I’ve brought some within the walls
Before the setting sun.
I've saved them from the enemy
Who in the darkness hides.
He seeks to hurt, to kill and break---
The father of all lies.

But as I watch, I hear approach
The sound of hurried feet,
And see a single, lonely lamp
Below me in the street.
I call out “The woods are dark,
The hour is growing late.
Tell me now what brings you here
Before the city gate?

“I beg you not to leave behind
The safety of the light,
The enemy is on the move
And watches in the night.
He seeks for souls who dare to leave
The protection of this place.
Do not go out—do not go out!
Don’t make this choice in haste.”

The footsteps cease, the lantern’s raised
And through the night I see
A young girl’s tear-stained, shadowed face,
A face well known to me.
It’s the orphan girl who weeks ago
I’d brought into the light,
Now standing there with lamp in hand.
My heart stops at the sight.

Her face is set, her eyes on guard;
I see there fear and doubt.
Her fists clench hard,
I hear her say,
“What enemy without?
It’s not so bad, the place I was
Before you brought me here.
I had my friends to comfort me,
To bring me needed cheer.
Your walled-off city is too cold,
I have no friends in there.
So thank you for the pleasant stay.
Don’t worry, have no fear;
I know you tried to help me…but
I must be on my way.”

I try to speak, to yell, to plead,
But fear my throat has bound.
So through the gates into the night
She slips without a sound.
For days I pray and watch and wait
For a miracle from above,
Until I finally realize
The miracle is love.

And then my prayer becomes a plea
For strength in present need
And with some fear, but ever hope,
I mount upon my steed.
I charge into that bitter realm
And tear on through the night--
Keep riding, riding without heed,
Till I see morning’s light.
Then through those dim and fragile beams
I see upon the ground
A lonely, sorry, broken child;
My orphan girl is found.

Her face is lined, her cloak is torn,
Her arms show battle scars.
Her hope and light and laugh and love
Gone out like dampened fires.
Upon the ground, I bend my knee
And give the girl my arm.
“It’s over now, the night is passed;
Come where you’re safe from harm.
The world is cruel outside the gates
And though now all looks black,
You have a place within the walls.
Oh, orphan girl, come back.”

And here's what Nana knows: This poem got to me. I guess it's not the kind of poetry your teacher would have you study in English class, not sophisticated. But it got to me. It came from such real, raw emotion.
It got to me so much I did something about it.
Now go and do thou likewise. You'll be glad you did.

Merry Christmas

And here's one of my boy.

Oops. No, here he actually is, pulling out vicious roots with his bare hands.

Blessed are ye...

2008-11-16T21:10:00.000-08:00

We Mormons get called a lot of things....legalists...non-Christian...even "damned"

Now we can add "bigots, racist, intolerant, haters"
The last one is funny really. I have never in 40 years in my church, heard a hateful or even unkind remark about gay men or women in my church.
I have heard lots of things about families, and how important they are and how central to the Creator's plan and to the health of a culture and a nation.
Nana knows that Jesus said "Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets."
Prophets always got in trouble for telling the truth to the culture
in which they lived.
(Sign in SLC protest: "Keep Government Non-Prophet")

Here we are at the call center in our stake on election day.

Here we are at a sign waving out at Blackhawk......

...and another one on Monday night before election on Crow Canyon in the rain.

There was the most wonderful feeling at all these events.

It felt like Zion's Camp.

Well, except when that girl ran up with scissors and tried to slash the banner the Ferrell's were holding and then held the scissors up to their 16 year old daughter's throat. Then ran away. Yes, this really happened.

If you aren't on the side of a Judeo-Christian, Biblically-based, non-relativistic morality in the current culture wars, you will not understand. But this battle to keep marriage traditionally defined as between a man and a women is our Cultural Armageddon.

It is not about hating anybody. That is pure propaganda intended to silence our arguments.

It is about preserving the sacred order that God established the world on. As different as all the varied cultures of the world are, there are a few things on which they agree. Marriage is between man and woman. A week is seven days. (see Genesis)

Think I'm crazy?

This is Katy Perry.

She is exhibit 1.

Yes, it matters to the society if you start moving the fences and changing the norms.

Her song, "I kissed a girl and I liked it" was catchy, bright pop

and spent weeks at the top of the charts

A few of the lyrics:

This was never the way I planned

Not my intention

I got so brave, drink in hand

Lost my discretion

It's not what I'm used to

Just wanna try you on

I'm curious for you

Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it

The taste of her cherry chap stick

I kissed a girl just to try it

I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong

It felt so right

No, I don't even know your name

It doesn't matter

You're my experimental game

Just human nature

Too good to deny it

Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a girl and I liked it

I liked it

Notice the words: curious, felt right, experimental, human nature, just try

Well Katy: Here's what Nana knows. Narcissism is all about making what you like the center of your life, becoming your own little god. You're well on your way, and well on your way to influencing the teeny-bopper culture that listens to you and buys your records.
Luke 6:43 "For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither does a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. For every tree is known by his own fruit. For of thorns men do not gather figs, nor of a bramble bush gather they grapes."

This is good fruit: A Forever Family

Veterans Day...A Little Late

2008-11-13T14:07:00.000-08:00

This is a Veterans Day Post for my personal hero-

my Daddy

John Joseph Patrick Michael Mackey

Here he is as a dashing young Second Lieutenant during World War II.

He flew submarine patrol, keeping the Atlantic waters safe for Allied shipping.

My father....one of the Greatest Generation...who did what they had to do and

didn't think that made them anything special.

Came home, went to Cal Berkley on the G.I. bill, by which a grateful nation made a university education possible for a poor kid from a poor neighborhood in Boston. Sometime, Nana will tell you the stories. They are great stories.

Oh, all right. I'll tell you one.

There were lots of Jews and Irish in the neighborhood. Every Friday night, Jack would go around to the Jewish homes and light the stoves of the good Jewish housewives who couldn't strike a match on the Sabbath. But the enterprising Catholic kid could,

and made a nickel apiece doing it.

They didn't really know they were poor kids. They organized their own football league, one neighborhood against another. All the parents came out and watched on Saturdays, but no adult had anything to do with it except to cheer.

Here he is today. He's 91. Still has that sparkle in his eyes and the Irish Wit.

Thanks Dad.

To you and to all the heroes.

Nana knows that you kids need to remember these guys and honor what they did.

It's very, very important.

The Sad Demise of Sin

2008-11-07T15:19:00.000-08:00

We had a sense of sin when I grew up. The fences were up and we knew where they were. Even at Harvard they knew what sin was. As you will note from this excerpt from Harvard Magazine, circa 1963:

"Dean of students Robert Watson criticizes lax undergraduate attitudes toward parietal rules, insisting that Harvard 'must be concerned that its students do not set an example for the relaxation of morals among youth....fornication must also be understood as an offense punishable by the University on the same grounds as thievery, cheating, and lying.'"

Ah for the good old days!

For those of you who've never heard of parietal rules, they are the rules governing men's and women's dorms-- when you had to be in and when the men had to be out. How quaint. Today at least two dozen schools, including Brown, the University of Pennsylvania, Oberlin, Clark University, Cal Tech, and Stanford, allow students to share a room with anyone of any gender they want to.

Bring Back Real Sin!

I know this doesn't have much of a chance as a slogan on college campuses, but Nana thinks it's a good idea. We knew what sin was at BYU when I went there.

Here am I in my prom hair in 1966. (No, I didn't use a bicycle pump to get it like that)

But we all knew exactly what sin was back then. We were all concentrating very hard on not giving in to the lusts of the flesh. We never thought to use the excuse, "That's just the way I am. That's the real me." Sure sex is natural but we also knew the natural man and the natural coed were enemies to God. We fought back and "chose eternal life, according to the will of his holy spirit, and [did] not choose death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to lead you down to hell, that he may rule over you in his own kingdom" (2Nephi2:28-29)

Sin Today

Of course the world does have its own brand of Sin today-- even though they've pretty much abandoned the lusts of the flesh. Here's the current list, brought to you by the World Council of Great and Spacious Churches:

The sin of social injustice
The sin of intolerance
The sin of judgmentalism
The sin of not recycling
The sin of smoking

Things have definitely changed from the Middle Ages. Then you got a convenient, concise list of Seven Deadly Sins. Easy to memorize if not always easy to comply with. They are, or were:

Now that's a list of sins a person can sink their teeth into. I think we should make them into wall art in Relief Society. Nana thinks these are things kids need to know.

When all else fails there are the Ten Commandments and Galatians 5:19-21 with its list that includes fornication, lasciviousness,and reveling.

They just don't teach this stuff in churches anymore.

Case in point:

One of my FAVORITE MAGAZINES(!)is "Touchstone, A Journal of Mere Christianity." This is from their latest issue in a fascinating article called "Wise Blood" by Marilyn Prever.

"My husband and I used to help with marriage preparation for our parish, and we found that many of the couples were cohabiting. Some of them felt guilty about it, but many felt that they were not only innocent but virtuous, because living together saved money, and not only that, but they were being especially "responsible" because the woman was on the birth control pill. They thought God must be very pleased with them. Where do you begin to unravel such a tangle of errors? We did our best in the brief time we had and were surprised to find how many couples were open to the truth ("Why didn't somebody tell us before?"), but others had to find out the hard way that God doesn't just want us to have good intentions, he wants us to keep his Commandments."

How should we decide what things are sin and what things are not sin? God's word decides and we as Christians are to agree with God's word, not rewrite it.

Nana wants to know...

How are you going to repent if you don't know you're sinning?

What if they gave an Atonement and No One Came?

"Oh no thank you. God loves me just the way I am. I suggest you go feed the hungry. Have a nice day."

The gospel of Jesus Christ is for sinners. That's all of us--just so you don't go getting a big head. The Doctrine and Covenants says we "are called to cry repentance to this people." We are apparently living in a culture that doesn't want to hear it. They want acceptance. No thanks on the redemption.

Well, take it from Nana, who has lived a lot longer than you have. Being stuck with yourself just the way you are is hell. I'll take redemption.

Down but Not Out.....

2008-11-01T18:23:00.001-07:00

Or...Never Give Up

Things happen in life that just plain stink. Like pitching to St. Louis' Albert Pujols in a NL playoff game in '05 and watching him whack a spectacular 4 run homer out of earth's orbit.

Pitcher Brad Lidge is a guy who has had his ups and downs....

Up: Picked 17th overall in the 1998 draft by the Houston Astros.

Down: Missed big chunks of first four seasons. Torn rotator cuff. Broken bone in his arm. Strained ribcage muscle. Bad knee.

Up: In the 2003 season was named Rookie of the Year.

Up: In 2004 was made a closer for Houston. Great season.

Up: Finished 2005 season with 2.29 ERA. High hopes into the playoffs.

Down: Pujols' homer in the playoffs. Podsednik's walk-off homer in Game 2 of World Series that ended in a sweep for Chicago. The bloom is off the rose and Houston fans start to gripe.

Down: 2006/07 seasons. ERA rising. Ends at 5.28. Loses closer job.Fans fickle. Not worth the money they say. He's lost it, they say. Regains his closer job but he's no longer the Hero. His knee is blown and needs surgery.

A NEW CHANCE: Acquired by the Philadelphis Phillies before the 2008 season.

Down: Tore the meniscus in his right knee in Feb '08, same knee he already had surgery on. Uh oh. Had more surgery to repair it.

Up: Fighting his way back. Looking good. In the first two months he played the 2008 season, he had 12 straight saves. Returned to Astro's home field and smoked 'em. Ended the regular season perfect with 41 straight saves.

Higher: Wins MLB Comeback Player of the Year Award. Finishes season with a 1.95 ERA and 92 strikeouts in 62 games.

Up, Up: His streak of saved games continued. 6 for 6 in the postseason heading into game 5 of the World Series against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. This was it.

Away!: The Phillies are playing at home and lead by one run. Top of the ninth. If they can just hold Tampa scoreless they win the world series. Lidge retires Evan Longoria on a pop fly. First out. Than Dioner Navarro singles into right field and the Rays have a man on base. Pinch-runner Fernando Perez steals second, moving into scoring position with just one out.

Lidge retires pinch-hitter Ben Zobrist on a line drive to the rightfielder. Every Philly fan's heart is in their throat. Two away. Remember, the tying run is on second.

Pinch-hitter Eric Hinske is up. Foul ball. Strike one. Check-swing. Strike two. This is it. The third pitch.
A swing and a miss!

The Phillies are the new World Champions of Baseball. First series win since 1980! Brad Lidge is on his knees on the mound, with his hands stretched heavenward.

The place went nuts!

See for yourself:

And then they started putting microphones in his face. I was watching the game and in the first sentence he spoke he thanked Jesus Christ and his teammates. I couldn't find the moment replayed on the networks or u-tube but my friend who watched the game heard it too.

Mr. Lidge had said a similar thing when he received the NL Comeback Player of the Year at the end of the penant race.

"I'm thankful ..to the Phillies for giving me an opportunity to come here, and be able to close and have confidence in me. And really thinking about it, I mean I have to thank God for the blessings I've had in my career, whether it's been ups or downs, I mean just to be able to play in the major leagues, I mean for me has always been a tremendous blessing. I also feel that I need to thank Jesus Christ for giving an example of how to never be too up or too down. To be humble when things are going good and when things aren't going good to realize it's just a game and to have perspective...

A reporter asked him for his favorite scripture and he said,
"I really like the things Jesus said. One in particular, where Jesus says, 'What good is gaining the whole world when you lose your soul to achieve it.'
That would be a paraphrase of Matthew 16:26.

So what Nana knows
is that this guy, Brad Lidge, is a good role model in a world that badly needs them.

I'm really not a baseball fan but I like redemption stories and athletes who give the glory to God.

So in his honor I am going to do my own paraphrase of a scripture--2nd Corinthians 4:8-9.

Paul the apostle knew something about forging ahead past the roadblocks of life. Here you go...

"We are toubled on every side, but haven't quit believing; we are faced with setbacks, but do not despair,
We are abandoned by fair weather friends, but not forsaken by The One who matters most; we are down, but not out!"

So never give up, kids. As it says in the Good Book, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

Love you,
Nana

Support Waning for the Material Girl

2008-10-30T18:15:00.000-07:00

You probably don't remember her like this, but when Nana was your age, Madonna was shocking us by wearing her underwear on stage and publishing a book called "Sex, the book" that it wasn't polite to look at in the bookstore.

Like she invented sex. But she did sell a LOT of books......and records. (you probably don't remember those either)

"What do you want?" the devil asked her.

Money! Men! Fame! Adoring fans! forever

"No problem. I'm your perfect agent. Oh, and I'm gonna need you to do this special gig where you climb up on a mocked up crucifix on stage. Stick with me baby. What a career you're gonna have baby."

But one thing nana knows through personal experience... people get old and they gain a little weight and their skin gets wrinkled. (We can talk more about that later.)

But it happens to EVERYBODY....as in EVERYBODY. even really rich famous people who can afford live in trainers and on-call cosmetic surgeons.....

He called me WHAT!!???

Madonna is 50. Madonna's soon to be ex-husband, Guy Ritchie, is ten years younger than she is. apparently he just called her wrinkled and old. so mean.

not fat though. he didn't call her fat. he said cuddling with her is like "cuddling with a piece of gristle" Harsh.

(And did you see his pretty soft new girlfriend who is more than 2o years younger than Madge?)

so this is what Nana knows....

all that stuff ...the adoring fans.....the fame....the beauty....

"all these things shall be dissolved..." 2 Peter 3:11

and

"thus we see the end of her

who perverteth the ways of the Lord;

and thus we see that the devil will not support his children at the last day" Alma 30:60

Dust honey. It all turns to dust.

But she's probably not quite ready to hear it.